The first night was weird. I slept on the street where I'd stayed in the motel, a familiar area. To climb into the back part of my hatchback to sleep through the night brought such a blank feeling. Here I am trying to turn my life around and one year after graduating college, I'm officially homeless with nowhere to go.
The second night I thought to myself, if this is what I have to do to try to make it work, then so be it. At least I have a vehicle that I can sleep in. I don't have to go to the shelters which have such bad reputations. I parked on a dark street near the college campus.
The third night I slept on the floor on a futon of a buddies music studio. It felt good to have a roof over my head even if it was a real apartment.
Last night was about the same as the first two nights. This time I parked on a street not too far from the motel, a side street that was more quiet. I'll probably go back there tonight.
My family all think that I'm staying back at the motel. I just can't tell them the truth because I don't want my middle sister worrying about me. She has done so much for the family already and it's not her job to take care of me. So I can't tell her. But she is going to be very, very upset with me. SO ALL OF THIS IS A SECRET. I choose to write so that I don't ever forget what I'm going through right now.
I get up and go to a 24 hour restaurant and use the restroom or go to the student union at the school campus. When it gets to the point where I need to shower, I'll get a one nighter somewhere to clean.
The rest of the day, I go to the library to work on writing my feature films. I'm so eager to get them completed. I still have a lot of work to do. I'm taking my time but be dedicated because I want them to be good.
My little niece called to talk to me yesterday. I felt so sad. She said, "You left me." It brought tears to my eyes. We had gotten closer when I went home in August. She is such a beautiful flower.
That's all for tonight. I have a job interview on Friday at Target. I sure hope I get the job. I'll let you know.