I must come out of denial about exercising. I remember a time when I never let anything get in the way of my exercising. I use to wake up at 4am and go jogging behind the police officers who use to jog that early in the morning down MLK blvd. I had gotten in shape and hadn't even realized it until one day walking back to the parking lot from church, West Angeles, my skirt fell down to my knees. All I could do was laugh. I was still wearing the larger sized clothes because in my mind I was still overweight. I went home and looked in the mirror which I hadn't done for a year and low and behold I was 35 pounds lighter. I went for my annual check up that week and the nurse who was looking at my chart, looked up at me and said, "You've lost 35 pounds!" I couldn't believe it. I was so proud of myself. I committed to letting nothing stop me from exercising a minimum of 45 mins. a day.
Now this 2nd day of 2010, I am coming out of denial about exercising, and writing. I am going to commit to 6 days a week of exercising and writing my scripts. I have realized that I cannot work long hours on my feet as a director with this excess fat on my body. It just can't be done. I can't claim to be a writer if I don't finish the 5 scripts that are embedded in my brain. They must be on paper for others to read. So I say to myself, daaaah lol.
To my readers, what do you need to come out of denial about. What lies have you convinced yourself to believe when you know if you were hearing the same story from someone else's lips - you'd know to be untrue.
Let's come out of denial in the name of Jesus!
COMING OUT OF DENIAL: I, myself had to deal with this issue, and am still dealing with it to a degree. It may be of no surprise that it boils down to a WOMAN. This woman, is probably the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on in my life. Though her outer appearance is ANGELIC, her inner workings say otherwise. Now I have come to understand that I am first and foremost to blame, before I point fingers anywhere else. I say this, because I had prematurally drawn my own conclusions about this woman, and who I thought she was or should have been. This is where the saying, "GOOD LOOKS ARE DECIEVING," comes into play. I admit that I myself was VERY WRONG for having even gone in the direction to which I had gone, because I was married. My marriage was pretty much over, but none the less, we were still married. Mind you, I had been forewarned that her mental was shakey. I figured, "How could she be in the military if she was mentally unstable ?" Maybe it was just an act she would put on, just so she would not be bothered with people she did'nt like. I had heard the stories of, "How she flipped out on a guy with whom she believed she was having a serious relationship with. I had heard several stories that should have been my signal to run fast and far. As time progressed, I became more distant from my wife. It was'nt that I did not love her, but I was slipping more into a depression, (which came on when my Mother passed away suddenly in August of 1992, and my Father in August of 1995). She contacts me in February of 2008, by phone. After cursing me out for the first 3 to 5 minutes of the telephone conversation, she states, "I NEED SOME MONEY. I NEED $10,000.00." This was a shocker, and I declined. She went on to call me for several weeks, until she realized that she was'nt getting any money from me. Afterwards, I did not hear from her again until mid-November of 2008. She started calling again, never stating her purpose for calling. I soon found out that she was about to get kicked out of her apartment, and that she was no longer getting financial assistance from the Government. Her aim was to try and get money from me once more. Christmas Eve of 2008, she phoned, and I could tell that she had been drinking. On the phone she goes on to accuse me of, "STALKING," her. Being one who hates controversey of that nature, I hung up. I did not bother answering when she tried to call back. Christmas night, she calls again. She was pretty P.O.'d cause I had hung up on her the night before. She goes on to tell me that she was getting ready to move and that she would be throwing out alot of things, and that my phone number would probably be thrown out. My take, "OOOKKAAAYYY!!!!" For whatever purpose it served her to tell me that. At somep point during this phone call, she tells me, "I never tried to get with you because you are BLACK, too dark for me, (She looks identical to Alicia Keys). It may be a thing in Texas for dark-skinned guys to get with light-skinned females, but it does not fly with me. Also, "The only reason why I ever bothered talking to you is because I was after your money." Furthermore, "You're fat and broke." After several exchanges, she hangs up.
ReplyDeleteI had phoned another friend, when my phone beeped. This took place 3 minutes after the conversation ended between she and I. It was her calling me back. I answered. It was mind blowing because she started this conversation with, "So what did you do for Christmas ? Did you go visiting, or you stayed around the house ? Just as sweet and calm, like she had'nt just verbally assaulted me 5 minutes earlier. This let me know that her PSYCHI is'nt right. THE REALITY: I am not what she want or who she needs.
Toes stepped on!!!! Whew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't know what else to say....
ReplyDeleteWell citybirdbase, sounds like crack to me lol - not funny I know - but I had a neighbor for years who dated the landlord and one night I was over at her apartment while she was telling me about a party she went to. She had gone to a party with the sister of an actor who starred in Menace To Society. The girl was sitting right there looking very weird I might add. Anyway, my neighbor said that she tried some weed that was laced. Well, even for me who knows nothing about drugs except what I hear on tv or in movies, I knew "laced" wasn't a good thing. In almost the next two days my neighbor was hooked on crack. I knew something was wrong the day I talked to her but no one believed me. I'd told one of her best friend's who was also my best friend. One day I told my neighbor that I was waiting on new carpet and I said to her...tell that punk he better be here with my carpet and laughed. Well punk is a word we'd used hundreds of times to describe men who are not real men, not gays or anything, but men who fake their manhood. So from that word - punk - she thought I was having sexual relations with him. She began stalking me for two weeks before she actually broke out my kitchen window, through our balcony, one day when she thought I wasn't home. She was coming into my apartment with a knife out of the Rambo movie to kill me. Due to the fact that I was home and stopped her plan, I realized what was happening. I talked calmly to her, told her that she needed help, made her drop the knife, let her in so I can see her and called the police. So that girl may have been on drugs that could have caused mental problems too.
ReplyDeleteI hope you made up with your wife and learned to be faithful.
No, my Wife and I parted company back in 2003. She had been creeping around and had even moved out with a man. She was'nt very wifey. I did not mention much on her actions for the sake of not placing blame, but she was unfaithful the first full month we were married. As for the EX-FRIEND, I learned that she had been raped back in 87, just out of highschool. Relationships with men, I have found that she base on $$$$.
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